Kitten Killers – “The Rules”

Little baby kittens!

Little baby kittens!

Most cyclists would be familiar with Velominati’s – Keeper of the Cog: “The Rules”.

No where does it include a rule about the lead up to your ride. Coach Steve taught me a while back, that if you put your bike on the back of your car to go on a bike ride then you are kitten killer. I feel the need to include this as part of “The Rules” and would appreciate comments/additions with regards to this rule.

If you have to drive your bike in order to go on a bike ride then you are douche. In addition, if you drive your car to the gym you are a douche.

Exceptions to the rule are:

• Your bike ride must be a minimum start distance of 50kms.

• You are taking your bike to be serviced as it is completely broken beyond home repair.

• Your bike is broken, or you are broken (due to a fall) and you have had to call in your Vehicle Response Unit.

• You are travelling interstate.

Think of the kittens!

Happy New Year! “Smoke it! Smoke it!”

New Years was AWESOME!

My brother decided to take me on a ride to The Gap Creek Reserve to meet up with my sis-in-law, Coach & his wife and BJ and the peeps for a lovely picnic dinner. The ride up Coot-tha was HORRIBLE. As we were going to do some mountain biking on the other side of Coot-tha, I had my knobbly tyres on. I needed some assistance by the time I reached about half way up the mountain. Jon (JD) used what I have named “The Jondola Technique” (TJT). This involved him riding by my side with his arm around my back coaxing me along the way. He would give me a push off, almost like a bungee thrust, whereby I would be flying up hill one second then come to an abrupt holt the next! He repeated this technique all the way to the top! It must have looked ridiculous to anybody who passed us!

Time for some down hill. The Three Sisters was NOTHING in comparison to going down a single trail called “Dingo” which took me over a ramp, logs, rocks and loose gravel. Like hell really. Screamed like a girl. JD kept shouting – “Just roll over it!” “It’s nice and smooth!” “Don’t look down!” I suppose all that yelling took my mind off the fact that to my right was a cliff face!

Once I got down the bottom I practically kissed the ground!

I met up with Coach at base camp. He decided to take me to another trail on the other side of the creek…he kept on yelling “SMOKE IT!” “SMOKE IT!” indicating to me when I had to hammer it uphill so I wouldn’t fall off. Nothing worse than falling off your bike when cleated in. I fell off twice. Well, actually, it was a ‘lean fall’ whereby I just leant over to the left and lay gently down on my side…in preference to rolling down a cliff…I swore like a crazy lady on the wrong meds! It was scary, yet at the same time ecstatic! I thought I was pretty awesome, but in reality if someone had filmed me I would have looked like the biggest gumby rolling along at 5kms/hr!

What wasn’t so fantastic was that I didn’t push “START” on my Garmin to record my ride, which means, it if wasn’t on STRAVA it never happened!

Happy New Year!!

(Mt Coot-tha is in Brisbane, Australia)