Nobody told me it was going to get easy.
It’s coming up to 9 months since I crashed my bike. Holding myself together, mentally, has been my biggest challenge. Like today, I opened my mail to read the letterhead “Employment Separation Certificate” from the Department of Human Services. Its another poke with a needle. Dealing with Personal Injury Insurance Company’s who make you jump through invisible hoops like a performing monkey.
People have asked me how is my progress? My shoulder has a lot of joint stiffness still, and the nerve is still a work in progress. The newly generated nerve controls my Deltoid which supports my upper limb. Currently it is inactive. Upside is I have sensation and a new ‘hot spot’ in the old area which was numb…it is rather fascinating! Simple tasks like tying my hair up, raising my arm to hang washing, opening windows, lifting objects to a bench, carrying loads, weight lifting at the gym and sitting at the keyboard for long lengths are still impossible tasks. It causes frustration and sadness. I stare at my arm in the reflection of the gyms mirror and I see another person. I morn the loss of my previous self.
I have learnt that you need to surround yourself with supportive and positive people. Seek professional help to encourage progress. But, mostly, be with friends who help me. This week I had a break through. A friend of mine contacted me and asked me to start a series of very basic exercises, one’s for which he knew I could manage. He talked to me about using my mind to activate my muscles. He re-enforced the power of the mind. This morning I opened a window. I jumped with joy! Inch by inch!
Through-out this time I have listened to other peoples struggles. Read motivational blogs. Socialised with groups who paint the picture of my dreams. Swam in a hot pool with broken people. I have seen people with far worse struggles. Amputees, brain damaged and burnt bodies. These people have kept it real to me. When I fall in a heap I think of these people. It up-lifts me. If not, I swing my leg over my bike and go for a pedal. Listen to my music and look at our beautiful City. Sit under a tree and watch people. I see things that most don’t make the time to see. Too busy caught up in their working lives to not see how amazing being alive is!
There are days I see people kick goals. It excites me, yet upsets me. I take a few days for this to pass. And it does. Having my friends check in on me during these times helps me to push through. I am so blessed to have such people in my life. For without my friends I wouldn’t be standing. Take some time to think about your friends with struggles. Sometimes you can’t always solve the problem. To listen to them is the key. Sometimes all they need is someone to talk too. Someone to lean on when times get tough. Someone who won’t judge or criticise. Someone to ask you for a ride.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~ Leo Buscaglai