Who do you think you are?

In my life I have met some remarkable people. I would make new friends and bring them home and my mother would critique them to me. I use to think she was being over protective, telling me what to do and rude in some cases. But as I grew older and matured, it occurred to me she was teaching me a simplified version of psychology…and the art of choosing a good friendship over a hurtful meaningless one. I became rather good at finding beautiful people and maintaining strong friendships. Now that I have my own daughter, I talk to her about her friends. We have lengthy discussions about ‘why’ and ‘how come’ and ‘I don’t understand’. For a young woman she is very in tune with people, more so than I ever was or am even now. I keep a watchful eye over her, allowing her to work things out for herself. After all, the best life lessons are ones that are learnt by mistake! I have learnt that there are people in our world that don’t always sync with you. A myriad of personalities that attract or make you retract. It’s difficult to grasp the concept that everyone you meet is not who you think they are from the outside. If you are a good and kind person then people will naturally gravitate to you. I think of it like this…if you are standing out in the dark cold night and are invited into the warmth and comfort of a safe space you would take up the offer. What awaits you may not just be the warmth of a fire or the comfort of a nice hot drink. There are people in our world who don’t hold the same core values as you choose. Even the most educated person can be treated wrongly. They give you just enough to spark your interest, enough to make you feel good about yourself, but then they take it away…so you want more. But you don’t know why. When you get hurt its a horrible ugly feeling that cuts to you deep. It’s difficult to describe to someone who has not. And having the need to find out ‘why’ is so strong you feel you cannot push through without this question answered. I think about people who have lived in abusive relationships. Who have been attacked, sexually abused, taken advantage of. How do they cope? How do they move on? Find themselves again? Getting even is not the answer. Praying for Karma is like expecting rain to shoot up out of the earth. The answer cannot be found. The mystery of these people cannot be discovered. Perhaps we just accept that they are just not right in their heads? Finding space and building walls of protection around one self is one way. Holding up the wall is the tricky part. Surrounding yourself with trusting, loving, honest and caring people helps. Hold onto them tight. And don’t allow your guard to drop so easily. Keep yourself safe. Don’t feel alone. Eyes tell you everything about a person. They are the window to the soul.

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